Get all 6 Heather Aubrey Lloyd releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of My Kinda Quarantiner, Are You Lost? (quarantine demo), The Lucky Ones, Mess Countdown Podcast, A Message in the Mess, and Samples.
1. |
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Did I show up right on time,
as you were finishing the crescent on a question mark
I closed in a circle?
And once you were mine,
the weight upon your hand and the promise
just too much of a burden
But if it's love ... why the hurting?
If it's love ... why the weight?
Around my finger, turning,
Oh, if it's love ...
Like walking on the moon,
we fell, but I learned how to walk with you
my left hand anchored to yours
Cold around my finger
the empty space, I shiver with the first new lover's touch
upon the skin that was obscured
Love ... I thought I knew.
But oh, love ... how I miss you.
Love ... the weight ...
was more than you could take
And once I slipped you off
I discovered something lost
now I'm superhuman
I don't know what I'm doing
I'm only clumsy because I'm so strong
And when it's love ... I'm gonna feel it
When it's love ... it won't be a weight.
I could float right on up to the ceiling.
Honey, I'm not saying you were kryptonite,
but all of a sudden I can fly.
Did I show up right on time,
as you were finishing the crescent on a question mark
I thought was a circle?
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2. |
Hum (Kazoo)
04:03
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If I had our song in my hands
won't find its way to a strum
would you think that I loved you less?
Wonder if I'd gone numb?
If I had our song in my mouth
won't find its way to a word
would you think I had nothing to say
just 'cause it couldn't be heard?
'Cause you make me feel like singing
but sometimes the notes just won't come
but even when my love goes unsung
well, I can still can hum. Hmm hmm.
Here with your head upon my chest
Must feel the beat like a drum
is that music enough to your ears
or would it just let you down?
'Cause you make me feel like singing
but sometimes the notes just won't come
but even when my love goes unsung
well, I can still can hum. Hmm hmm.
Don't feel slighted, I have pulled all-nighters
writing all of my thoughts on our love
but to do it justice I'm afraid I must admit
I'm not the one.
And it's your fault really, 'cause you make me silly
and I forget where all my songs come from
but even when you strike me dumb
I can still hum. Hmm hmm.
'Cause you make me feel like singing
But I've got better use for my tounge
'cause even when I kiss you
well, I can still can hum. Hmm hmm.
Oh, even when I kiss you...
Hmm hmm.
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3. |
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Michaelangelo is painting ceilings still
his back not to a platform, gravity has not the will
to bring he and his colors down
green, green high above the ground
Mother gave you a ring for every anniversary
traced a circle in your skin so you'd remember everything
a string tied around your limb
blowing in an ocean wind
The closest that most living things will ever get to heaven
on the skirts of the saints, north of all the angels
I am here below
trying to grow.
I could take you home, plant you in my yard
wait a hundred years or so and see how far
I could climb up then
but they might not let me in
So I'll just wait right here in this great cathedral
messiahs it has witnessed, through the fire it's persisted
priests and presidents and me
Gone before the last of it leaves
The closest that most living things will ever get to heaven
on the skirts of the saints, north of all the angels
I am here below
trying to grow.
Trying to grow home.
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4. |
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I wished on a shooting star in Greenland
but was sad to find
just a lump of rock in the ice
And the lead in my pencil splintered
wasn't strong as I thought
and my wish was lost ...
Because blue blue berries are as blue
as New New jersey is the garden state
and you you can call it what you like
on the parkway dodging drivers
just cause it smells like fertilizer
don't mean it's gonna bloom ...
The sun don't rise, it's just the earth that's spinning
you don't lose your heart, it's your head that's spinning
and there is no truth, it is all just spinning
so just call me yours, and I'll call it winning ...
Because blue blue berries are as blue
as New New jersey is the garden state
and you you can call it what you like
on the freeway paying tolls
on the driveway parking cars
I just want the road that's ours ...
I don't need you to confuse me
I have grown enough to know
I like the truth in place of mystery
it's not as sexy as it used to be
to chase after meanings
weaving tapestries of possibilities
reading more in than anyone ever means ...
So, I wished on a shooting star in Greenland,
but was sad to find
just a lump of rock in the ice
and the lead in my pencil splintered
wasn't strong as I thought
but you found the wish that I lost ...
Because you can live in a garden state
if you you only plant a garden there
and you can make almost any city full of grace
don't have to call it charming
you can call it what it is
you can love it all the same. can you love it all the same?
Could you love me all the same? darling, what's in a name?
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5. |
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I don't know any more than you
if the sky will fall and crush us
or the seas rise up to take back what was theirs
Maybe we all get exactly
what we think is coming
invite the devil we know right on up the stairs.
Oh, there ain't no runnin'
from the hell you make inside of your mind
if you think you're damned, you are
if you think you'll fly, you will
you'll find exactly what you think you're going to find
for everyone a reckoning.
You say they're coming for us
with guns with rules with their religion
then they're coming to take the guns, the rules, the religion all away
they're saving us all, they're killing us off
well choose your ammunition,
but can anybody tell me
who the hell are "they?"
Oh, there ain't no runnin'
from the hell you make inside of your mind
if you think you're damned, you are
if you think you'll fly, you will
you'll find exactly what you think you're going to find
for everyone a reckoning.
The beast under the bed
the doubt inside your head
the spiders inside you
even if you want to forget.
I don't know any more than you
if the sky will fall and crush us
or the seas rise up to take back what was theirs
Maybe we all get exactly
what we think is coming
invite the devil we know right on up the stairs.
Oh, there ain't no runnin'
from the hell you make inside of your mind
if you think you're damned, you are
if you think you'll fly, you will
you'll find exactly what you think you're going to find
for everyone a reckoning.
For everyone a reckoning.
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6. |
Seat (Broken Chair Legs)
06:22
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This house is falling down
you took the fire when you went out
left the tables and the silverware
But what's it matter if no one's there?
They've given me this warning
so young and my bones so thin
and what when I can't tent the skin
who will come home to me then?
This will always be your house
even if you never live in it again
some fool is keeping up the rent
And this heart is like a chair
even empty it's still there
as long as it's not broken into too small a piece
you will always have a seat
you will always have a seat.
And if I asked you to sit down
I mean nothing too untoward
as you probably figured out
this place was always yours
and you could smash it into kindling
but wouldn't that be such a waste
it could warm you for an instant
when you could be warm here all your days
This will always be your house
even if you never live in it again
some fool is keeping up the rent
And this heart is like a chair
even empty it's still there
as long as it's not broken into too small a piece
you will always have a seat
you will always have a seat.
But why should you have rest
when you took out all the fire
and left all of the smoke damage?
Why should you have shelter
when you took it all for granted
and burned all of the furniture?
This has always been my house
and you're never gonna live in it again
this girl is tearing down the fence
and this heart is my throne
I can stay here on high and alone
as long as it's not broken into too small a piece
as long as it's not broken into too small a piece
as long as it's not broken
even if it's broken
I will always have a seat.
I will always have a seat.
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7. |
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Shelves full of notebooks too nice to write in
handmade paper one you bought me in Thailand
leather-bound gold leaf for my last birthday
all of them beautiful all of them empty
I don't have pretty words for pretty pages
my heart comes out messy scratched out in places
all of that binding intimidating
no place at all for my little writing
But the ones that are full
are simple and casual
adorned with nothing
more than a spiral
these are the pages
I keep coming back to
keep coming back to.
You were so tall you took up my notebook
I started another our story was long
and I wrote you novels avoiding the hole punches
trio of pitfalls we danced along
And our love was full
simple and comfortable
adorned with nothing more than a spiral
we were the people, we kept coming back to
kept coming back to
Each like a staircase I flip the pages
watch our home movies unfold at the corners
but despite all my hopes we'll never be bound
in the beautiful covers no, we are found
in the plain white sheets I'm compelled to fill
replacing the ones we kept coming back to until
Shelves full of notebooks I can't bear to look at
pages and pages I can't throw away
you never know when a word might turn useful
when all you once wrote becomes all you can say
And my heart was full
simple and beautiful
adorned with nothing more than a spiral
these are the words I keep coming back to keep coming back to
I keep coming back to.
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8. |
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Into a hole in the cold, cold ground on a grey, grey day
Into a hole, down, down-soft place for us to lay
I buried us in a secret place none will go
Bluebells in the field, the only wreath we’ll ever know.
No churchyard will ever hold our sad, sad sin
No coin of copper, silver, gold to buy our way in
No stone to mark the bitter place where we lie
No stone but my heart … and no one’s tears but mine.
Can you hear … judgment in the trees
How they say … I'll never rest in peace
And they will say … lies I can never untell
See, the only hymns sang for him were from silent little bells
Silent little bells …
I loved a man in the worst of ways, loved me once
Loved me but he left, left me with his son
But the son he did not rise when it was his time
And I begged my love bury our son, but he said “was none of mine.”
The world it judged me hard for what it did not see
The woman is a whore, while the man he goes free
So tell me now for all my pain, can it be a sin
For a woman done wrong to do the man done it – do that man right in?
Can you hear … judgment in the trees
How they say … I will never rest in peace
And they will say … lies I can never untell
See, the only hymns sang for him were from silent little bells
Silent little bells …
I took my love to an old, old place on the edge of town
Told him he could take me, take and lay me down
I let him kiss me deep upon the edge of the well
I took my lover in my arms and took us both to Hell.
Into a hole in the cold, cold ground on a grey, grey day
Into a hole, down, down-soft place for us to lay
I buried us in a secret place none will sing
Bluebells in the field, bluebells in the field, bluebells in the field
And not a one to ring.
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9. |
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I got these hands, looking for use
I got a plan, just needs a house
walls bare, so much potential
look there, what looks like plaster
is really a future, waiting for color and care
You got a house in need of work
I got a heart that's empty with hurt
our rooms, they could use filling
our rooms, they could use healing
so much potential, it would take so little to start
But no need to worry
these are just samples
no obligation
maybe this for the mantle
and if it's all wrong
we can cover it up
and move on
You never thought much of the walls
went and accepted hand-me-down mauve
but, baby, come down to the hardware store
the paint names promise so much more
"quiet veranda," "southern breeze,"
whatever that means
See, my basement apartment, it's "Afternoon Shade"
it's kind of ironic 'cause it stays dark there all day
but that's the idea, you can choose "tropicana"
even if you live in Alaska
the world is our oyster, can't wait to begin
But no need to worry
these are just samples
no obligation
maybe this for the mantle
and if it's all wrong
we can cover it up
and move on
I'll do the painting and you'll bring me coffee
say how it all comes together so nicely
and all of the samples we ruled out together
could never be the one perfect color
that we found ... we found
I got a chair, bought second hand
I got a stain to make it what I really wanted
something to go with "Afternoon Shade"
maybe they've got one with shadow in the name
anything to make this place feel less the same.
But no need to worry
these are just samples
no obligation, no obligation
and if it's all wrong
you can cover it up
you can cover it up
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10. |
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For your sake
I will offer up my best intentions again
believe in things that I've left dormant
Dust the cobwebs off my hope
and find a way to reawaken
what about me was once innocent
For your sake
I will find a way to be grateful again
believe that things will work out in the end
trust that someone might be watching
that I might accomplish something
though for me it's harder than you know
I've met darkness I could not defeat
I've been brought down to my knees
and the truth is I have lost belief
that anyone is good
anyone is listening
anything is worth it
anything worth doing
but I will fight against it anyway
for your sake.
For your sake
I will work a little harder again
throw all of myself back in
get out of my bed every morning
not because of the alarm
because I've got to do something.
For your sake
appreciate what I have going for me
sing your heart when mine is dark and I can't see
know I have to offer
though it's getting harder
though for me it's harder than you know
I've met darkness I could not defeat
I've been brought down to my knees
and the truth is I have lost belief
that anyone is good
anyone is listening
anything is worth it
anything worth doing
but I will fight against it anyway
for your sake.
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11. |
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I come to you, humble and willing,
brave stepping over the bones of my brethren
I wouldn't come here if I wasn't desperate,
but I am too small, I cannot lift this.
One cement block can hold all I love
each moment sinking deep in the mud
and I would do everything in my power
but I am too small, and so is the hour.
And will I never be great
because I refuse to be cruel
will I always be afraid
will I always need
an oracle?
They said you were great, and they were not lying,
but why is greatness so terrifying
great and terrible ... always in pairs
we come to an oracle, trembling and scared
And will I never be great
because I refuse to be cruel
will I always be afraid
will I always need
an oracle?
I do not steal like the rats in the rosebushes
I do not kill like the owl in the forest
I do not lie like the leaders of fortresses
so will I die with the kind and the powerless?
I do not steal like the rats in the rosebushes
I do not kill like the owl in the forest
I do not lie like the leaders of fortresses
so I will die with the kind and the powerless.
And I say that I will never be great
because I refuse to be cruel
and I will always be a little afraid
I will always be little,
but I would rather be little
than ever be
an oracle.
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12. |
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I can't sleep in my own bed
no one to tell me a good night
so I crash out on my couch instead
weeks now with the tv on quiet
You were the author, I never saw
the outline locked in a bedroom drawer
they say write then ending, then work backwards
how long ago did you write our never-after?
My heart is like a broken book
pages ripped out clean
and I've been dying to know the end
but I can't find the final chapter
and you never answer.
Who ever heard of such a tale
try again, that one will never sell
go to work, try to sleep, 'til you hit your limit
but if you wouldn't buy it why do I have to live it?
Hell of a plot hole, where did the hope go?
Tell me what moral should I learn?
'Cause right now I don't see any heroes
and I kind of want to see everyone burn.
My heart is like a broken book
pages ripped out clean
and I've been dying to know the end
but I can't find the final chapter
and you never answer.
Text to page
page to book
book to hand
hand to floor
floor to cart
cart to hand
hand to shelf
with all the others
with all the others
Where is this shelved, in the back with the self help?
Right behind all of the fairy tales.
Lost behind bad art, one more broken heart
half off in the Christmas sales.
My heart is like a broken book
pages ripped out clean
and I've been dying to know the end
but I should know the final chapter
even if you never answer.
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13. |
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It'll snow on the day I wed
It'll snow on the day I wed
even if I'm a summer bride
the lakes will freeze, the bridges ice
It'll snow on the day I wed
It'll be like Christmas in July
It'll be like Christmas in July
the sun won't even have a chance
there will be an avalanche
It'll snow on the day I wed.
A white, white wedding it will be
No need to decorate
Nature will decorate for me
Icicle chandeliers
hanging down from every tree
All because I'll be getting married.
It'll snow on the day I wed
It'll snow on the day I wed
'Cause when I find my constant lover
Hell will have frozen over
It'll snow on the day I wed.
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14. |
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Heather Aubrey Lloyd Baltimore, Maryland
Recovering reporter turned songwriter, Heather Aubrey Lloyd also co-fronts Baltimore’s ilyAIMY. Her 2017 solo release, “A Message in the Mess,” spotlights Lloyd’s emotive alto and a polished departure from her band’s alt-folk grit. Awards from the likes of No Depression Magazine, Telluride Troubadour, National Women’s Music Fest, etc. soon followed. Lloyd will release new music in late 2020. ... more
If you like Heather Aubrey Lloyd, you may also like:
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Incredible blend of styles into something totally unique. Heather's voice is one-in-a-million. Not generally a fan of live recordings but this is top notch sound. I'm an audiophile w/ over 2,500 recordings and this is as good as it gets - Rain at The Refuge
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Myxomatosis Took Its Toll
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The quintessential ilyAIMY experience of the mid-2000's, this album travelled with me from Highschool to College. It's my go-to when introducing someone fresh to ilyAIMY for the first time. The live cuts of their songs allow their banter between the chords to shine through and with the song intros on top of that, it makes for the most immersive ilyAIMY experience.
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Sorry I'm So Sensitive
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The second EP from Northern Irish singer-songwriter Bea Stewart runs from gentle folk to pillowy pop ballads, all perfectly executed.
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Michelle Stodart’s folk music captures hope in melancholy, addressing the transformational aspects of the most challenging times.
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Veneer (20th Anniversary Deluxe Edition)
by José González
featured on Bandcamp Radio Aug 29, 2023
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supported by 11 fans who also own “Samples”
A perfect companion album to Myxomatosis Took Its Toll, this album features mostly studio recorded tracks for those who prefer that style. This album also features Thunderstorm which is a clever re-name of their song Storm with the addition of electric guitar. A solid pick for any ilyAIMY fan.
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