Get all 6 Heather Aubrey Lloyd releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of My Kinda Quarantiner, Are You Lost? (quarantine demo), The Lucky Ones, Mess Countdown Podcast, A Message in the Mess, and Samples.
1. |
Ask For Me
04:36
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If you go down to the bar looking for a love song | they tell you I’m the one you need to see | so come here to my corner pop a quarter in my heart | they were right when they told you to ask for me | ‘cause you been working hard all day | let me ease your mind | and honey I’ll be singing ‘til 3| but when they say last call you don’t have to go home | think I’ve got a song left in me | so if you want me don’t you dare let me go | don’t make it harder than it has to be | ‘cause I am yours for the asking | I am yours for the asking | I am yours | so come on and ask for me | ‘cause I been broken down and I’ve been tired | but you set me back on fire | and I bet you and I could find the melody | ‘cause I’ve lost all that I’ve loved | and if there is a God above | maybe I can’t | but you could ask for me | so if you want me don’t you dare let me go | don’t make it harder than it has to be | ‘cause I am yours for the asking | I am yours for the asking | I am yours | so if you go down to the bar | looking for a love song | I tell you I’m the only one you need | so if you want me don’t you dare let me go | don’t make it harder than it has to be | ‘cause I am yours for the asking | I am yours for the asking | I am yours | so come on | come on
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2. |
Good Heart
02:30
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Oh, a man who won’t have me has the last of my love.
And the bud, bloomed once, now a monument.
And the heart beats blood. Yeah, the heart beats blood
like a good heart should, like a good heart does.
Still some nights, it feels empty as a painted shell,
drained so slowly through a pinhole.
I hid it for the hunting, but I did it far too well.
Now no one can find it, not even myself.
Oh, a man who won’t have me has the last of my love.
And the bud, bloomed once, now a monument.
And the heart beats blood. Yeah, the heart beats blood
like a good heart should, like a good heart does.
Hey, you take the weight off broken legs,
sling up arms and hands,
but the heart keeps on working
even when it’s on the mend.
Resting on the edge.
Always headed for the floor.
But always steady, at the ready,
even if you don’t know what for.
Oh, a man who won’t have me has the last of my love.
The bud, bloomed once, now a monument.
And the heart beats blood. Yeah, the heart beats blood,
like a good heart should, like a good heart does.
Like a good heart should, like a good heart does.
Like a good heart should, like a good heart does.
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3. |
Cast Off
02:18
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I got a heart like a cardboard box | and you’re a crazy kid | got put out on the curb | but you saved me yes you did | saw the spaceship tree house time machine | nobody else could see | and now you’re here inside | making magic out of me | I got a body like bubble wrap | and you gotta make it pop | a compulsive pleasure and I hope you never stop | every satisfying snap all the pressure and release | now you’ve broken through | making music out of me | because one man’s trash is another man’s treasure | guess I just needed another man | with a little more vision and a dream | with the right captain a cast off is reborn on the sea | century-old barn wood that’s just waiting for the planer | giant tractor tire just waiting to be a playground | hipster dress out of Star Wars sheets | he didn’t see it | you gotta see it | well I got a mind like soup cans tied | by a string in between | but without you on the other side | no one was listening | but you followed the line put the end up to your ear | and you dug out the message only you could hear | because one man’s trash is another man’s treasure | guess I just needed another man | with a little more vision and a dream | with the right captain a cast off is reborn on the sea | with the right captain the cast off is reborn on the sea
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4. |
Lunatic Yell
04:00
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He walked down the street the god of accidents | so I gave all of my change to the homeless man | a mummy in caution tape down on his luck | said man this is no costume I am seriously fucked up* | and what would it take for you to remember me? | I am down on my luck wearing my heart on my sleeve | I am homeless and heartbroken hungry for so much | and man this is no costume I am seriously fucked up | Oregon Allison was going by Jasmine this month | when we met in the bar said she’d take me to Spain if I want | like a confused tooth fairy gifted me one from her store | saying take this I don’t need it anymore | and what would it take for you to remember me? | I am falling to pieces could use a little company | and you can have this heart | or is that part too easy to ignore? | well take this I don’t need it anymore | do I have to scar you? scare you? talk to myself? | to find a place in your memory reserved for no one else | make my name more interesting? cultivate an eccentricity | that you can’t dismiss so easily? | so here I am again I’m fighting for your eyes | making a fool of myself cause I’ve decided it’s worth the prize | for you to say my name burned in your brain | just like a lunatic yell | I want to be your favorite crazy story to tell | I want to be your favorite crazy story to tell
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5. |
I Don't Know What I Want
03:55
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I wanted someone to love me | while I was still pretty | so he would remember when I got old | you said you wanted | to watch me go gray | when you left only gray was the snow | you took my heart and my favorite ring | promised the future promised me everything | you used to want me so much | I wanted somebody’s toothbrush | on the sink next to mine | I left yours there a long time | but I wanted someone to love me | when it don’t come easy | as constant as breathing and just as involuntary | you broke my heart and my favorite dream | and now I can’t promise anyone anything | I used to want so much | now I don’t | I don’t know what I want | I don’t know what I want | so what I want now | it’s hard to tell | I ain’t ever been graceful | but I recover well
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6. |
Even Now
03:36
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God, please make me a stone.
I don’t want to feel anything anymore.
All my soft heart never came to any good
And I can’t find a blue-eyed boy
To love me like he should.
Is my heart keeping you awake?
You prefer my lips a dam and not a garden gate.
We could be years before the flood.
Then we’ll just ask all the disasters not to come with us.
Like that’s enough.
Boy, please leave me alone.
You will never know what I know, what I’ve done.
Centuries, my legacy, how they curse my name.
I made you like God, but all you remember
Is my shame.
Is my heart keeping you awake?
You prefer my lips a dam and not a garden gate.
We could be years before the flood.
Then we’ll just ask all the disasters not to come with us.
A woman drove you from the garden,
That’s how a woman made you great.
What would you be if not for me,
The very woman that you hate?
And I have born my punishment.
And I have earned a better fate.
And I will face my God again.
I am unafraid. I am unafraid.
I ... I ... I ...
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7. |
The Animal Crackers Song
02:46
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You may not know how hard it is
to break into the snack food biz.
Competition for a couple dozen coveted spots
in the lineup of the animal cracker box.
How I long to be among all of those famous features!
The rhinoceros and kangaroo and elephant and all the creatures,
the lions and zebras.
I’m just a dreamer. Mmm hmm.
Go ahead and lick me, I’m salty sweet,
a perfect complement crushed up in a car seat.
But your crackery criteria’s a little funky.
Tell me, do you really need a gorilla and a monkey?
How I long to see my likeness in a sugary frame!
Masticating a mammalian menagerie, without all the game,
my few minutes of fame …
But you know it’s a shame ... Mmm hmm.
‘Cause no, I’ll never make a neat cookie-cutter shape
(and I’d confuse a kid or two with me on their plates),
but I’d rather get my head bitten off by mistake
than be a no-body who went about a dream half baked.
How I long to be a yummy member of the pack!
Eaten with the sheep and the koala, even with the giraffe.
You may just laugh,
but you’re nobody ‘til someone puts your face upon a tasty snack.
But is it too big a wish?
Sincerely yours,
Mr. Cuttlefish
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8. |
No Lantern
03:45
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I'd rather feed something deeper
than just your addiction,
but you'd leave me starving and feeling uneasy
if I tended a garden
of more than tobacco
so instead in the evening
I bring fire and laughter.
See, I know you and I don't presume
to share anything more than your room
carry any more weight than the wind
to burn anything more than your skin
Keep it light, light, keep it light, but no lantern.
Keep it light, light, light, but no lamp.
Keep it light, light, keep it light. No answers.
Making light in the dark, it's the safest fire we can.
You nursed every smoke
right down to the filter
and cradled it gently as a flightless canary
lest one spark find the mouth
of that ravenous drought
your care for the kindling, endearing
and offensive.
But I know me, and I don't expect
to need anything more than neglect
to want anything more than a glance
balance your supply with my demands.
Keep it light, light, keep it light, but no lantern.
Keep it light, light, light, but no lamp.
Keep it light, light, keep it light. No answers.
Making light in the dark, it's the safest fire we can.
We've left torches and porchlights all over this land
burning like stars, but long ago dead
a bitter countdown to the end
and not a map back to somewhere
we might catch our breath ...
Keep it light, light, keep it light, but no lantern.
Keep it light, light, light, but no blaze.
Keep it light, light, keep it light. No answers.
Making light in the dark, it’s the safest fire
A little love in the dark, it's the safest fire.
Light/love, light/dark, it's the safest fire we can make.
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9. |
Pollock
04:58
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Pigeons sit lined up like ellipses on a street lamp, like Morse code. Sparrows are whole notes on the staff strung up between telephone poles. And if they could not sing, would this be their song written out? And if they could not wing, would they learn to love the ground?
Every little bird a frustrated Pollock, every car hood a canvas. Clean and polish, people wash away the art - They just don’t understand it.
But there’s a message in the mess I’ve been trying my best to decipher. During reincarnation, something lost in the translation - now an eyesore. What the car crash stole comes back not quite whole, but full of good intention. The diamond now a coal, is the beauty trapped inside forever?
(bridge) What will I be born without the second time around? How will I express my heart? Without hands or wings or song, will it be a prison for my soul? Would it be better to go once alone, or not even at all?
Pigeons sit lined up like ellipses on a street lamp, like Morse code. Sparrows are whole notes on the staff strung up between telephone poles.
And if I cannot sing, could this be my song written out? And if I cannot wing, could I learn to love the ground? Can I learn to love the ground?
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10. |
Clear
04:15
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Let me be clear | I never want to see your face again | but sometimes I have dreams | we have coffee and it’s nice | catching up for a little while | before we go back to our regularly scheduled lives | let me be clear | the last few years have been a blur of pain | I blame you more than a little bit | but mostly still myself | keeps me up at night | ‘cause sometimes you’re the only one I want to talk to | but my last word to you was congratulations | and they say time heals all wounds | but I am still confused | I’m still waiting | to be clear | let me be clear | I never wanted to see your face again | but a wedding invitation | a reluctant reunion | and a nod across the dance floor | suddenly feels far too distant | let me be clear | I am just stealing a moment | while the jackets are collected | while farewells are being said | ‘cause if these are the last words that I get | hey sometimes you’re the only one I want to talk to | as we stand here wishing friends congratulations | finding any excuse to be in the same room | first time in ages | and then we’re clear | and we are both taken but not taken over | stubbornly just sticking by our almost-perfect lovers | but the years go by and the wounds don’t heal | ‘cause the wounds aren’t wounds at all | but a message coming clear | the sky is clear | Sunday morning waking slowly | making coffee making plans | making light of forever | ‘cause now we can
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11. |
Phantom
04:24
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I swear it’s still there
I swear it’s still there
at the tips of my fingers
a powerful dream
I once more than whole
twice alive for his soul
for his heart my own
but as numb as I am
I can still feel it in my hand
like the limb I lost
in a war
I fear I’ll bleed to death
they swear there’s nothing left
scarred under the skin
spared disfiguring
I should count my blessings
re-given I hear
someone needed it more
well take better care than the one before
he deserved someone dying for
his heart
but as numb as I am
I can still feel it in my hand
like the limb I lost
in a war
I swear it’s still there
I swear it’s still there
at the tips of my fingers
a powerful dream
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Heather Aubrey Lloyd Baltimore, Maryland
Recovering reporter turned songwriter, Heather Aubrey Lloyd also co-fronts Baltimore’s ilyAIMY. Her 2017 solo release, “A Message in the Mess,” spotlights Lloyd’s emotive alto and a polished departure from her band’s alt-folk grit. Awards from the likes of No Depression Magazine, Telluride Troubadour, National Women’s Music Fest, etc. soon followed. Lloyd will release new music in late 2020. ... more
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